The power of alternatives

Diversity is objectively good. It promotes survival in an evolutionary context, provides an innovative edge in business, and supports robustness in networks. Imagine, for example, needing to renovate a house. The more diverse your social and professional network, the more skills you can draw on, and the more perspectives you can access. Diversity means more options, less stuck places, and the ability to transform a chore into a creative process.

The Trap of Comfort

Ironically, when it comes to managing our own challenges, we often lack diversity. For several reasons, we tend to always fall back on what we think are tried and tested solutions that align with our personality traits and our personal conditioning, and these keep us stuck.

Consider an extroverted thinker versus an introverted feeler tackling the same problem. The extroverted thinker would likely think out loud, make impersonal analyses, seek efficient solutions following rules and procedures, and communicate directly, even bluntly at times. In contrast, the introverted feeler would reflect deeply, align solutions with personal values, aim for harmony, address individual needs, and communicate empathetically to avoid conflict.

However, relying solely on one's preferred style can leave us ill-equipped to solve certain problems effectively. It's hubris to assume the best approach is always the one we're most comfortable with or identify with most. Life serves up all flavours of challenges, and we'll be left struggling if we can only engage with the ones that we can solve with our preferred ways of thinking and acting.

The Trap of Ease

People also tend to gravitate towards easy solutions, even when ineffective. When the obvious solution fails, many dismiss alternatives as too effortful or improbable, giving up altogether. How frequently do we fixate on one path without considering others because they're unconventional or too hard?

The Trap of Rigidity

At times, we struggle to imagine alternatives beyond instinctive responses, like falling into rumination for complex issues or into escapism for grief. Our experiences and our personal conditioning limit our imagination. The key is recognizing that often, a new outcome cannot evolve from old patterns. Obvious solutions may be inadequate for overcoming certain challenges. By exploring a range of alternatives with an open mind, we have a greater chance of becoming unstuck.

Steps for Finding Alternatives

1. Reframe the Challenge

"We should grow like a tree that likewise does not know its law. We tie ourselves up with intentions, not mindful of the fact that intention is the limitation, yes, the exclusion of life." - Carl Jung

Instead of seeing our challenge as a problem, view it as a growth opportunity. Let go of fixed intentions and be open to outgrowing the problem through new perspectives and solutions.

For example, people often come to counselling because of how they are experiencing someone else's behaviour. If they come in with a fixed goal, wondering "how can I stop this person from doing the things that upset me?", their options are limited. If, instead, they come to the problem from the perspective of, "what skills, insights, or perspectives can I develop to better understand and manage this problem?", the alternatives will flow naturally.

2. List Ten Alternatives

"If one method doesn't work, try another. But above all, try something." - Franklin D. Roosevelt

Forcing yourself to list a full ten alternatives pushes you to consider unconventional and even absurd options you may initially dismiss. In therapy, we use the Socratic dialogue to explore options that are outside your current frame of reference. But when you're looking for solutions on your own, it helps to be forced to consider more alternatives than what you'd normally be comfortable with. This sparks abstract, out-of-the-box thinking.

3. Deepen the Options

"The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them." - Albert Einstein

Flesh out all the alternatives, even implausible ones. Add details to envision what each option would look like in practice. This allows you to thoroughly consider all possibilities before deciding. This is also a good time to list the positives and negatives of each option.

4. Start Acting

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death." - Anaïs Nin

Recognize that growth and reward come from exploring different ways of thinking, acting, and feeling, and ultimately, different ways of being. The more you develop familiarity, competence, and comfort with alternative ways of addressing a problem, the more you will be happy in uncertainty and ambiguity.

5. Enjoy!

"Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." - George Bernard Shaw

Cognitive flexibility is associated with greater resilience, greater creativity, and an overall better quality of life. It pays to think twice.

References

Dajani, D. R., & Uddin, L. Q. (2015). Demystifying cognitive flexibility: Implications for clinical and developmental neuroscience. Trends in neurosciences, 38(9), 571–578. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.tins.2015.07.003