Thriving with Anxiety: An Existential Perspective

From an existential perspective, anxiety isn’t just about stress, fear, or worry. It’s about something much deeper: our relationship with uncertainty, freedom, and meaning. Søren Kierkegaard, the Danish philosopher, described anxiety as "the dizziness of freedom"—that feeling we get when we realize how much choice and responsibility we actually have in our lives.

Viktor Frankl, a psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, saw anxiety as tied to our search for meaning, arguing that "man is not destroyed by suffering; he is destroyed by suffering without meaning." In other words, anxiety can be a sign that we are wrestling with life’s biggest questions rather than simply a sign that something is wrong with us.

Why Do We Feel Anxious?

Anxiety is complex. It can arise for many reasons, from unresolved trauma to neurobiology, from cultural expectations to personal beliefs about ourselves. But existentially speaking, anxiety often comes from three big realities of life:

1. Freedom & Responsibility – We have more control over our lives than we sometimes want to admit. This can be empowering, but it can also be terrifying. We have to make choices, and every choice means closing the door on other possibilities, making mistakes, causing pain.

2. Uncertainty & Death – No one knows what will happen tomorrow, and deep down, we all know that life is finite. This awareness can create a background hum of anxiety that influences our daily lives, even if we don’t think about it consciously.

3. Meaning & Purpose – We all want our lives to matter, but what does that even mean? Anxiety can arise when we feel disconnected from a sense of purpose or when we struggle to find meaning in our work, relationships, or personal growth.

The Problem with "Fixing" Anxiety

Modern psychology often treats anxiety as something to eliminate. We’re given cognitive-behavioural techniques, mindfulness exercises, and medication to manage symptoms, which can be incredibly helpful.

But what if anxiety isn’t just a malfunction of the brain? What if it’s an inevitable part of living a conscious, engaged life?

What if trying to avoid anxiety is, really, just another form of anxiety? Or, ultimately, what if anxiety is just that: our attempts to control or avoid the cost of living, the dread of uncertainty, the frustration of limits? As children, we populate the dark with monsters. As adults, we populate uncertainty with anxiety.

As existential therapist Emmy van Deurzen put it, "Curing people of their capacity for anxiety would mean curing them of life itself." Instead of trying to get rid of anxiety, we can learn to work with it, to let it guide us rather than paralyse us. Anxiety isn’t just fear—it’s a signal, a call to examine what truly matters to us. Often, too, it’s a signal that we’re not establishing proper boundaries, we don’t trust our future selves to cope, and we've strayed from our values.

How to Thrive with Anxiety

Rather than seeing anxiety as the enemy, we can shift our perspective and learn to live with it in a way that enriches our lives. Here’s how:

1. Reframe Anxiety as a Sign of Growth

   • If you feel anxious, it might mean you’re stepping outside your comfort zone. That’s not a failure—it’s a sign you’re growing. The most meaningful things in life—love, creativity, adventure—come with uncertainty. Anxiety is often the price of living fully.

2. Get Curious About Your Anxiety

   • Instead of pushing anxiety away, try sitting with it. Ask yourself: What is this feeling telling me? Am I afraid of failure? Am I struggling with uncertainty? Anxiety often has wisdom hidden inside it. We tend to only get anxious about things that matter to us. So the next time anxiety shows up, instead of asking, How do I get rid of this? try asking, What is this trying to teach me?

3. Find Meaning in the Midst of Anxiety

   • Viktor Frankl’s logotherapy teaches that when we connect with a sense of purpose, anxiety often becomes more bearable. Even more, when we transcend our own concerns, and focus what the moment requires of us, our anxiety is transformed. Whether it’s in your work, relationships, or personal passions, finding something bigger than yourself to focus on can help anxiety feel less overwhelming and more meaningful ... empowering, even.

4. Embrace the Unknown

   • Life is unpredictable. Instead of resisting this, try embracing it. Stoic philosophers like Marcus Aurelius remind us, "You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." There is certainty in uncertainty. Anticipation goes a long way to strengthening our resolve; when we know just how tough something will be, we go in with eyes open and braced for hard work.

5. Cultivate Self-Compassion

   • Anxiety is tough, but beating yourself up for feeling anxious only makes it worse. Be kind to yourself. Speak to yourself the way you would to a good friend—acknowledge your struggles without judgment. Practice loving-kindness meditation.

Anxiety isn’t just an obstacle—it’s part of what it means to be human. It reminds us that we care, that we are alive, that we are engaging with life’s uncertainties rather than hiding from them. Learning to thrive with anxiety doesn’t mean eliminating it; it means learning to dance with it, to let it accompany us rather than control us.